Marriage is the bringing together of two different individuals. Smarter, quicker, fatter, lazy, cute, kind, angry, thoughtless, inconsistent, dependable, these are just some of the qualities people have. In a marriage, someone is getting the short end of the stick. It’s not that just one partner has all the merit in the relationship, but there is no equality. It’s 20/80 or 40/60, you pick the numbers, we are not the same.
So many write their marriage vows these days; nothing wrong with that. Embellishing the marriage vow with your own personal touch is wonderful. That is if it is unwavering in its permanence, that being the “original” biblical mandates of marriage. Richer, poorer, sickness, health, til death do you part, that’s permanence.
Men are supposed to give themselves to their wives just as Christ gave himself to the church. He is to prepare a place for his bride just as Christ is doing for his church. Husbands are not as perfect as Christ and neither can be, but a Christian husband should be becoming more like Christ everyday. That’s why, in a Christian marriage, the wife can submit herself to her husband or in other words trust him to do things for her that’s in her interest.
Unfortunately many men do not fulfill their commitment to God, let alone their spouse and this causes disappointment in him. Furthermore, the woman, many times, will seek to “take over” where the husband is inadequate. The husband is responsible before God for lacking in leadership; she should be willing to let him fail. Otherwise, he will never learn.
When Eve gave Adam the apple, Adam was responsible for taking the bite. In the aftermath of the fall, he essentially blames God because God is the one who “gave” him this woman. Adam knew God. He knew what God expected of him. He ignored God. He did not make sure his wife was kept from looking at the tree of good and evil. He failed Eve. Women are attracted to things (men are too), but it’s up to the man to make sure they are both living in such a way that pleases God.
Adam may have been coerced sexually, I don’t know; all I know is that men can easily be persuaded to do something when sex is involved. Whatever the case, he listened to his wife and suffered the consequences. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t listen to your wife, but means if she encourages something contrary to the will of God the husband has a duty to say no.
The husband needs to be engaged with God every day, every hour, studying scripture together so they are in agreement with God. I don’t think Adam ever reminded Eve that looking at that which is tempting is something she should not do. No, he just assumed she was on the same page as he was. But she did the deed, she flipped the page and now it was Adam’s turn to partake or not to. Adam wasn’t so sure of what God said either or better put, he wasn’t aware of how important the Word of God was.
Eve was like him, she loved him, they were in this thing together. They were married. So they were in the same place all of us are. Do we listen to God or do we listen to each other?
We are the bride of Jesus Christ. He’s the new Adam. Unlike Adam, He kept his relationship with God. He gave himself for us so that we can know God. He won’t divorce us. We are His and He is ours.
Like Christ is doing for us, let us give grace to our spouse and seek God together. It is will of God.