Lyle's Blog

I was blessed to have a very kind father. He never beat us, yelled, or did what so many do; he was a gentle man. For that, I am most grateful. He talked about his life at times, what he witnessed, how the world had changed, what he believed, but not the eternal nagging questions about life. Maybe much of it was just not to be put into words. I knew a lot of what he believed but not always why he believed.

I got to thinking and realized I’ve done much the same. Before you marry someone you should know the what and why of their beliefs. I didn’t know my own beliefs and my thoughts weren’t always reflected in what I said and my actions. So I needed to know myself before I even tried to know my girlfriend. We got married not knowing enough about each other, but you do find out. So you spend a lifetime trying to meld two value systems together. If you work at it, you become one.

Children come along and you do the fundamental work of parenting. You play, teach, nurture, in short care for them as they grow. Their value system is not taught by you but caught by them as they watch your example. What would have been a good idea is to let them in on who I was and where I was coming from. Thirty-some years later, they have their own kids and I realize that they don’t know the real me.

My dad is gone. He’s not talking anymore. I’m farther along the trail than I’d like to be; I won’t be talking much longer either. That’s the real purpose of my writing. Yes, I write all these words for everyone. In fact, anyone reading this knows more about me than anyone else. Those closest to you, your spouse, your children, are your peers, your equals. My teaching, talking days are over.

What this is all about is simple. Talk while there is still day, when your relationships are young. The young want to know; the older you get the less you want to know. Dead men don’t talk so talk now.