Sibling Rivalry
I have been blessed to have grown up in a family where sibling rivalry became a relic after childhood was over. Today I have two brothers and three sisters, all wonderful people who actually like me. If we’re called, we are there. Our well being is important to one another. We have different interests and aren’t close in that way but we are family and hold each other in high regard. Our parents somehow instilled in us that family was our most valuable asset and indeed it is. They prayed for us every day.
After meeting my wife and getting out in the world a little, I found few people that didn’t have warring family members. Understanding the reasons is almost impossible except to say that it is much the result of resentment over the real or perceived preferential position of one child over the other. Left unresolved, these feelings grow and a wall is erected and with the passing of time, it gets higher and higher.
I know people who haven’t spoken to their siblings in thirty years. Resentment and unforgiveness are a dirty habit that gets impossible to break. Any interaction between your brother or sister quickly escalates to the sore spots in your relationship. Many times it’s not worth the effort to attempt to reconcile. If you’re on the hated end rightfully or wrongly, it doesn’t matter. It’s not going to get better.
I’ve heard some stories from friends that are truly unbelievable. It wouldn’t be kind to share them here. From your own experience, you have plenty of examples to relate to. Things have always been this way since the fall of mankind. There’s nothing new under the sun.
Let’s travel back to Genesis chapter 37 for a moment. Joseph was a typical kid, saying whatever came into his head which made him sound like a braggart. His older siblings grew tired of his relentless “I’m special” attitude and decided to sell him into slavery which they did. The original plan was to kill him but giving him a life of a slave was deemed more satisfying retribution.
To hide their crime, they took the coat Jacob had made special for Joseph, dipped it in blood and gave it to Jacob claiming a wild beast had probably eaten Joseph. What kind of children would put their parents through such anguish? Joseph was a child (verse 30), What kind of brutes were these older siblings? Jacob would go to sleep every night with that horrible thought on his mind. He probably blamed himself for not taking better care of Joseph. Thank you, boys.
As God told Cain, sin is at the door waiting to claim its right to your actions. Somewhere between not speaking and murder, squabbling siblings settle their disputes.
We can’t make people love us. Maybe we’re not even that lovable. Maybe we’re self-centered, self-serving. Or maybe we’re the good one, the one who doesn’t deserve to be treated that way.
What Joseph’s brothers did was make Joseph humble; slavery has a way of doing that. So when Joseph answered Pharaoh concerning his dream, he said humbly, “it is not me; God shall give Pharaoh an answer of peace.” No more reckless talk, just an answer to bring peace to the mind of Pharaoh.
If we could learn, from a young age, that a soft answer turneth away wrath, it just might solve a lot of problems. That’s what my parents had, a soft answer and encouraged us to do the same. Thank you, Mom and Dad. I wish you were here to hear those words in person.
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