Lyle's Blog

Mom died in July of 1996. She had liver disease for years and suffered since 1982. When she passed, I didn’t cry. I was numb, almost indifferent, not to her, but to the reality of it all. No, it had to settle in, plague me with guilt.

I hadn’t been a good son. Oh, I said I love you, was “kind”, or so I thought. But for years my self-centeredness cursed me. She was Mom and I was a very old child.

After a few days I went to her grave. I wept bitterly. I told her I was sorry but she couldn’t hear me. Why was she so pure and I so sinful? Scripture tells us we have hearts of stone and we need a heart of flesh, one that can feel, ache, and appreciate and be thankful for the blessing we have.

My mother was that unwavering blessing. I guess I’m trying to encourage you to say things while ears can still hear and tears can come from joy and not regret.

I went to that grave a couple of times after that. I wept more tears. I knew the truth. I needed forgiveness but Momma couldn’t hear me anymore.

It is by Jesus Christ I can lay that burden down and it by Jesus Christ I can see Momma again. I love you, Momma.