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No Comments Our Children
As I’m growing older reminiscing has become a constant companion. There’s a line in one of the songs I like that says “little things I should have said and done, I just never took the time”. Looking back I can see the things that would make a big difference were just little things. Taking time to say things and do things make a huge difference in the lives of those around you. Taking time, that’s the hard part. We’re so busy with work, play, and our plans for a better life. We have three children. When your first is born they receive all the attention. They benefit from the sole attention of two parents. This is a two-edged sword for them because even though they may be catered to, they must also suffer the undivided attention of two parents who from some fount of wisdom have figured out exactly how to raise a child. This one is going to be perfect. And for a while you actually believe they are. What you don’t realize is that you missed the little things like the teaching and mentoring of love. Enter child number two; they being a baby require lots of your time. Your first born now receives half your attention which they probably resent although there is a freedom in not being monitored so much. It’s a little thing, a little less time, a little less of everything if you’re not careful. Child two usually takes a back seat to child one. There’s just less time (and maybe money) to do all those things you did with child one. I do see parents that try to do that, running to this game and that, believing that activities keep the devil away. There is some truth to that of course but you do have to notice the little things that take place. What kind of people are becoming your child’s heroes and therefore mentors? Sports and music both produce characters that have only one virtue: talent. When your child wants to replicate that virtue many times they adopt the other less desirable traits of these people. Living with a child emulating these personalities can be challenging. If child three arrives time is further limited and it becomes harder to take the time to spend with the older children. And that’s when they need it the most. Having children doesn’t necessarily bring a couple closer together. Oh it does for a while sometimes, but when you were without kids conflicts were usually few and easy to overcome. It was easier to stay together. After a few years there arise issues that blind side you. Then all your short-comings flood back in and remind you of where you went wrong. That’s if your lucky. Our modern world makes it ever more difficult to weather the storms of life and stay together for “better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health”. Why? There are so many options these days. We don’t have to be diligent about spending the time on the little things. It’s just the big things that consume us. There are so many broken families. Don’t wait till you’re old to assess your approach to those you care about. In the end none of us have done everything well but certainly some have done much better than others. You’ve just got to let them know right from the get-go that they are always on your mind, that you love them, and all you want is the very best for them. You see, it’s love that covers a multitude of sin, short-comings, and lack of knowing. So the best we can do is spend the time on one giving each other the grace we need to weather their storms of this life.